Day 784 If looks could kill

Omg help. Why am I so leisurely today? It’s 11am and i’m only just writing the menu, i’ve prepped nothing and i’ve been reading fun facts all morning. What is wrong with me?! Mother doesn’t know this yet but it’s only a matter of time before she comes out of the shadow realm to inflict the death stare on the underperforming monkey that is myself.

Salads:

Coconut curry with black eyed beans

Indian spiced rice

Courgette, tomato + basil pasta

Lightly spiced fregola

Soup: Gazpacho

Sandwich: Garlic salame, Asiago cheese, Spicy peach relish + tomato

Day 783 Mild mayhem

I’ve heard rumours that we will have to endure 40 degree heat in the next coming weeks. For this reason I am perfectly content with the cloudy July we’re currently experiencing. Today it’s full throttle I have Uk power networks in, an interview and multiple catering jobs to go out. I can’t wait for the lunch rush, i’m already high as a kite…on adrenaline I swear!

Salads:

Black bean + aubergine in black bean sauce

Edamame + crispy shallot rice

Sausage + ham pasta

Panzanella

Soup: Lightly spiced squash

Day 782 Cut my life into pieces

Pathetic fallacy is real people! We worked a 12 hour shift yesterday but I got everything I needed to do done. Fantastic feeling I must say. So why do I feel so pathetic and down? What does one need to do to feel accomplished? Day’s like these I just want to listen to some emo music and be in my feelings but nooooo I have to contribute to society…ergh

Salads:

Braised white bean + courgette

Bejewelled rice

Roast pepper + tomato pasta

Bacon + cheesed crouton salad

Soup: Squash + miso

Sandwich: Mortadella ham, Manchego cheese, Spicy peach relish + tomato

Day 781 The interviews

So we’re interviewing this week and for some reason i’m nervous. I don’t know what i‘m suppose to ask or tell. I have this conundrum every time we have to hire someone. It’s salads, sandwiches and coffee but there’s also a whole lot of responsibilities that I can’t explain, you just have to experience them. You might think you have great customer service skills but do you have people skills? You have no idea what’s going to walk through that door on a daily basis and I can’t tell you either. Should I ask if they’re okay with skating on thin ice?

Salads:

Med veg lentils

Spinach + herb rice

Cauliflower + cashew pesto pasta

Tuna + potato salad

Sandwich: Parma ham, Pecorino cheese, Jalapeno relish + tomato

Day 780 Sunday, Monday, What day?

I woke up smiling thinking it was Sunday morning. It definitely isn’t. Monday has hit me with full force but I had such a relaxing weekend that I don’t feel stressed. This could pose a problem because I need to be stressed and militant to get stuff done. Ja feel?

Salads:

Five spiced veg + aduki bean

Seaweed rice

Leek, black olive + tomato pasta

Korean spiced egg noodle salad

Soup: Lightly spiced bean + tomato

Sandwich: Roast beef, Dill pickles + chilli relish

Day 779 Lean and bop

What did I do wrong? Why is life just a rolling hill of emotions at the moment? Why can’t I just have a week ONE WEEK without any trials and tribulations? Sure, that’s life, that’s what all the people say, riding high in April, shot down in May, June and July ain’t looking pretty either. I cracked my ankle out of place yesterday and so i’m walking with a gangster lean. I can’t wait for the September close.

Salads:

Paprika roasted squash + split peas

Sweet chilli + garlic rice

Roast vegetable ragu pasta

Panzanella

Soup: Indian spiced vegetables

Sandwich: Napoli salami, Pecorino cheese, Chilli relish + tomato

Day 778 Accept when you can't

I’ve always had the mentality where if life isn’t worth living you should make changes in an attempt to improve your situation. For example, if you let work run your life you should sift through what’s necessary and what’s extra but I find it hard to say no to work. If someone is having a BBQ or a christening and they want our food on their table it’s a little arrogant for me to say no. So i’ll move around personal appointments to accommodate someone else’s schedule even if it’s to my detriment and I don’t know why I do this because for the most part, I don’t like people.

Salads:

Moroccan spiced lentils

Lemon rice

Courgette, pea + spinach pasta

Halloumi + potato concoction

Soup: Gazpacho

Day 777 Work hard, cry hard

I’ve been looking at my to do list trying to figure out the most efficient way of getting things done today. It’s looking like it’s going to be a glorious 12 hour shift but this is inevitable. We’ve been working at full capacity with half the team for the past three weeks, so we’re playing catch up. I got interrupted and had to go upstairs my workload has just doubled… yippee

Salads:

Indian spiced mung bean curry

Aromatic rice

Sausage + ham pasta

Cheesed, croutoned salad

Soup: Gazpacho OR Tomato + rosemary

Sandwich: Milano salame, Asiago cheese, Chilli relish + tomato

Day 776 Glastonburymeinthemud

I am of the unpopular opinion that Glastonbury isn’t worth it. 4 days of blood, sweat and shite. I’ve watched plenty of performances, from a variety of stages, in the comfort of my own home. There’s no arguing that Glastonbury has hosted some iconic performances. However, when people come through the deli door after being at the Glasto weekend I just don’t believe them when they say they enjoyed it. To me, it looks like the trenches with a good soundtrack. What is the appeal?!

Salads:

Pinto beans with peri peri cauliflower

Dill + preserved lemon rice

Mushroom ragu pasta

Beef + potato braise

Soup: sweet potato, ginger + carrot

Day 775 Unjust

I dislike the central justice system, you’d be delusional to think that one list of rules would be able to police a society of 8 billion. If you look up the origin of the Italian mafia for example you’d probably agree with the premise in which it was formed. However like with everything you just need one extremist for an entire community or organisation to be demonised. Just a random thought.

Salads:

Med veg lentils

Spinach + herb rice

Roast pepper pasta

Thai spiced tofy curry

Soup: Tomato, ginger + sriracha

Sandwich: Fennel salame, Pecorino cheese, Jalapeno relish + tomato

Day 774 Critical damage

My critic came back for lunch, she thought her sandwich was burnt last time, this time she was the one that was burnt. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Today it will be me, Mother and Dragon against the Friday hoard. This is not ideal but life is not ideal, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and I can take a lot of blows so let’s do this.

Salads:

Thai coconut curry with black eyed peas

Edamame + crispy shallot rice

Roast vegetable + tomato pasta

Panzanella with roast vegetables

Soup: Gazpacho

Day 773 It's not looking good bruv

Can’t say this morning has gone to plan. We are behind schedule and my computer just had a meltdown. I can’t catch a break. The next week isn’t looking promising either. We’re going to be two members of staff down tomorrow and Monday and i’ll be working all weekend to make up for time lost during the week. Someone give me a reason to smile.

Salads:

Braised med veg + chickpea

Ginger + lemon rice

Cauliflower + cashew pesto pasta

Korean spiced crabstick + rice noodle salad

Soup: Gazpacho

Sandwich: Mortadella ham, Fontina cheese, Chilli relish + tomato

Day 772 Staff

So I have to find a new member of staff. In the normal world you put out a job post comprising of the roles and responsibilities that the job entails. Like with everything at the deli, it’s not that simple. You might be able to work in a coffee shop, make a flat white, serve a sausage roll but can you talk to over 100 people daily about a plethora of topics and keep your cool? It’s easier said than done and history has shown me very few can do it.

Salads:

Mexican beans

Carrot, dill + lemon rice

Leek, black olive + tomato pasta

Panzanella

Soup: Gazpacho

Sandwich: Spicy salami, Asiago cheese, Mango chutney + tomato

Day 771 Makes all the difference

I’m rocking the Croydon facelift today. When I slick back my curls I’ve been told I look a little more aggressive and my pessimistic, dead pan jokes can come across mean and actually dark. I’d say ‘who knew a hairstyle could make such a difference?’ but then again whenever a man waltzes into the deli with a moustache a certain type of criminal springs to mind and i’m immediately weary…what’s up with that?

Salads:

Moroccan spiced lentils

Sumac rice

Roast squash ragu pasta

Tuna salad

Soup: Indian spiced vegetables OR Gazpacho

Day 770 What do I do?

When I’m asked ‘What do you do for a living'?’ my answer always starts with and exhale, a bit of a sigh. ‘I own a deli’ is the simple answer but you’ll never understand what that entails until you’ve sat in the corner for a day and watched the mayhem that our days consist of and that’s without all the intricacies of running actually business. So I tend to turn the conversation away from work now, because any time I get away from the deli is a blessing.

Salads:

Chilli non carne

Spinach + herb rice

Broccoli, chilli + garlic pasta

Chicken + bacon white bean braise

Soup: Sweet potato + ginger

Sandwich: Chorizo, Goat’s cheese, Red onion relish + tomato

Day 769 I can't hear you

I wear over-ear headphones so it’s obvious to society that I can’t hear my surroundings. I’ve made this change because people kept hollering and they were unaware I had little black buds in my ear so they thought I was straight up ignoring them (can’t lie, sometimes this was the case). Even with my unmissable headphones people still start talking to me as if I’m just earing ear muffs. Piss take.

Salads:

Braised white bean + courgette

Garlic + lemon rice

Bacon, leek + tomato pasta

Spiced cracked wheat salad

Soup: If it’s over 25 degrees it’s Gazpacho

Day 768 Bright side

I am on much better form today which confuses me because the list of problems hasn’t exactly lessened but they’re progressing in a promising direction. I think we all just get to a stage where you become stagnant and it’s hard to see the bright side of things. But it’s not a bad life just a bad day, I’m starting to appreciate the sunshine in saying this I am still suffering from a short fuse, so try me and you’ll get bitten.

Salads:

Ginger + turmeric chickpea curry

Aromatic Indian spiced rice

Sausage + ham ragu pasta

Cheesed croutoned salad with roast mushrooms

Soup: Chilled Gazpacho

Sandwich: Fennel salami, Pecorino cheese, Onion relish + Tomato

Day 767 Cracks are showing

I feel like the last few posts have been relatively negative. I’ve been sitting at my desk thinking about something positive to talk about or at least pessimistically amusing but I’ve got nothing left (shout out Ian Beale). It can be very draining remaining somewhat jovial at work while everything is breaking around me. However it is mildly entertaining watching people struggle to navigate the conversation when I reply to ‘how are you?’ with ‘fucking awful’.

Salads:

Smokey tomato + split pea curry

Rosemary + sun-dried tomato rice

French bean + tomato pasta

Thai coconut curry

Soup: Chilled Gazpacho

Day 766 Take it and run

We try hard not to make mistakes but human error is inevitable when serving 1000 people a week. This one Karen of a customer demanded a free sandwich in the midst of a hectic, hot lunch rush because her last sandwich was ‘inedible’, bollocks. The staff were shocked that I didn’t go off on her but I have recently learned to keep how I really feel to myself and remain professional. She left chuffed with her free panini, she doesn’t realise it was her last.

Salads:

5 Spice aduki beans

Seaweed rice

Courgette, mint + herb pasta

Korean spiced sausage + noodle salad

Soup: Chilled Gazpacho

Sandwich: Pastrami beef, Brie, Spicy peach relish + tomato

Day 765 Now I remember

So I got drunk yesterday. This is a weekly occurrence for many of you i’m sure, but I’ve been on a hiatus from alcohol and today I remember why. I woke up this morning dehydrated and disorientated, I’m tired, bloated and it seems I have a total lack of patience today. I think i’m going to stick to marijuana, so much less problematic.

Salads:

Thai coconut curry with roast squash

Red pepper rice

Roast vegetable ragu pasta

Chickpea curry

Soup: Chilled Gazpacho

Sandwich: Milano salami, Smoked mozzarella, Spicy peach relish + tomato