Day 1257 Lights, camera, action

Everyone loves a scandal; when they’re a spectator. Everyone is a guru when the issue is not their own. Everyone is shocked when they find out the cast of their favourite show don’t get on in real life, one might even be a predator. ‘But he was so good in that thing’ it’s called acting. We all do it, just some have made it their occupation. Our best performances take place in our daily lives. I would have received an Oscar by now and I know exactly who I’d dedicate it to.

Salads:

Chickpea + borlotti bean with roast peppers + herb dressing

Broccoli, chilli + garlic pasta

Panzanella

Soup: Chilled gazpacho

Sandwich: Spicy salami, Smoked mozzarella, Jalapeno relish + tomato

Day 1256 Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend

Thank God it’s Friday, I’m so ready for a weekend. I’ve comprised a list of tasks I want to complete and I need some time away from the general public. While I love people watching, said people can also make me want to shut my eyes and never re open them. A little weekend of R&R will help me recalibrate for next weeks deli dramas.

Salads:

Chickpea + sweet potato with mango + lime pickle dressing

Oriental rice salad

Sausage + ham pasta

Crab stick potato salad

Soup: Spiced chickpea, tomato + spinach

Day 1255 Slap on a smile and nod along

It ended up being an irritable Wednesday, who’s surprised? Not me. One of my last interactions of the day was a gentle man who told me that my prices online were cheaper than what’s in store. If he had known he would have ordered differently. Turns out he used a google review photo from 4 years ago to make his choice. Easily done, my confusion came from the fact that he’d been in the deli before and paid the current prices. He was less gentle when telling me that he thought that we were expensive, ahhhhh people.

Salads:

Aubergine + black bean

Lemongrass + lime leaf rice

Cauliflower + cashew pesto pasta

Soup: Spiced sweetcorn + tomato

Day 1254 Happy humps

I’m in a good mood, I’m just going to leave it at that.

Salads:

Chickpea + roast squash

Carrot + dill rice

Leek, black olive + tomato pasta

Soup: Indian spiced tomato

Day 1253 Are you a sponge or a sieve?

I tell you what to do, you say okay but you didn’t do what I asked. It’s fine, tomorrow we’ll try again. I tell you what to do, you do it wrong…again. Breath, it’s not a big deal. The third day I do the task myself, you say ‘I could have done that for you’. That’s nice. But you can’t. I won’t tell you that, you won’t understand because you keep doing it wrong and I don’t have the mental strength to explain this to you.

Salads:

Borlotti bean + mushroom

Spinach + herb rice

Courgette, tomato + basil pasta

Soup: Lightly spiced vegetable

Sandwich: Garlic salami, Smoked mozzarella, Chilli relish + tomato

Day 1252 The world as we know it would cease to exist without this fungus

A relatively unproductive weekend but enjoyable none the less. I was in the middle of making a shelf for the kitchen, suddenly my brain decided I was done with this task. I decided to have some mushrooms to pass the time. I didn’t trip balls (as the kids say) but the world became a little more colourful and my mind felt a little lighter. I will finish the shelf later today, or i’ll take more shrooms, we’ll see.

Salads:

Moroccan spiced lentils

Sumac rice

Roast squash + tomato pasta

Soup: Roast tomato + sweet potato

Sandwich: Cumberland sausage, Asiago, Onion relish + tomato

Day 1251 Devil in me

Another week comes to a close and what a week it was. The devil has tested me this week but i’ve been watching Daredevil and there’s an eloquent priest that tells Matt Murdock that the devil is in all of us, no matter how good you are. Will you choose the darkness or the light? You might have to dig deep to remain on the right side but it’ll be worth it in the end. Can’t believe i’m finding life advice while watching Disney +.

Salads:

Thai coconut curry + sweet potato

Tomato + basil pasta

Panzanella

Soup: Tuscan tomato

Day 1250 I hope you have a bonjour

With the summer holidays in full swing (summer by name, not by weather forecast) the age old request keeps popping up. ‘Do you have croissants?’. No Sarah, we don’t do croissants, you’ll have to take out a second mortgage and go to Gail’s if you want little Timmy to enjoy an overly sugary, buttery, chaotic crumb causing breakfast snack. I have no intention of stocking viennoiserie and i’m not even sorry.

Salads:

Ginger + turmeric chickpea curry

Cumin + spinach rice

Sausage + ham pasta

Soup: Spiced lentil + tomato

Sandwich: Chorizo, Pecorino, Chilli relish + tomato

Day 1249 She is her

She sighs as she watches the sun rise. Dread kicks in, another day is dawning, there’s nothing she can do to stop it. She takes a moment, the last moment of peace before it begins, life. She musters the courage to leave her bed, she’s comfy there. She exfoliates, cleanser, moisturise. She still feels the dirt. But if she plays her cards right she’ll make it home this evening. She’ll feel comfort again soon.

Salads:

Braised white bean + roast peppers

Lemon + herb rice

Roast squash + tomato pasta

Soup: Spiced red lentil

Day 1248 It's not right but it's okay

Most days I scurry to my desk with an idea of what I want to talk about but then there’s those days where I twiddle my thumbs, stare at my reflection and let my mind conjure up a thought. Unfortunately it’s nothing but misery business at the moment. When I’m left to my own devices I tend to go to dark places. In true British fashion, I surround my anguish with comedy so the receiving party isn’t left feeling distressed. You’re welcome.

Salads:

Peri peri cauliflower + split peas

Rosemary + lemon rice

Roast vegetable ragu pasta

Soup: Spiced roast squash

Sandwich: Fennel salami, Provola cheese, Spicy peach relish + tomato

Day 1247 This too shall pass

I’m fine but I have this churning sensation in my gut whenever I have to leave my sofa. I’m fine but my heart starts pounding a little harder whenever I think about interacting with another human. I’m fine it’s just that my body feels really fragile right now and that’s strange because I haven’t done any physical exercise in months. I’m fine as long as I don’t think about anything, be it the past, present or the future. I’m fine and I will continue to be fine because I have no other option but to be fine.

Salads:

Med veg lentils

Spinach + herb rice

Sausage + ham pasta

Soup: Chilled gazpacho

Sandwich: Speck ham, Pecorino cheese, Jalapeno relish + tomato

Day 1246 As the rain slowly falls down my cheek

Does anyone else feel like they spend most of their life being perpetually disappointed? You end up being impressed by the most middle of the road behaviour because the idea of expecting anything more is ludicrous. Such a shame, such is life.

Salads:

Mushroom cacciatore

Lemon + parsley rice

Baked veggie pasta

Sandwich: Garlic salami, Asiago cheese, Jalapeno relish + tomato

Day 1245 Time out won't tell you about this place

If you were approached by a tourist in London and they asked you for suggestions on what to do while they’re here what would you suggest? Now don’t try and get in my good books by suggesting the deli, you’ll have to be more creative than that! But what’s your secret London scoop, somewhere the influencers haven’t found yet. A sandwich shack in Shepard’s Bush market? A studio with a Turkish cafe in Hoxton? Or a yard shop next to HMP Brixton that does 20 flavours of patties? Or just high tea at the Wolseley.

Salads:

Black lentil curry

Cumin roasted carrot tice

Roast pepper + tomato pasta

Soup: Paprika roasted peppers

Day 1244 Karma is more powerful than a Karen

Good morning my little chipolatas, how are we feeling? I’m in an unsettled state of mind. It’s been brought to my attention that my niceties and consideration for others circumstances can put me at a disadvantage. This is not new information. People are selfish arseholes, this is not headline news. However I try and treat people how i’d like to be treated (shout out to Jesus). If someone wants to take advantage of this, then I will sleep well knowing that they will burn for eternity in the pits of hell be it on this earth or in an afterlife. Amen.

Salads:

Thai coconut curry with roast squash

Miso + spring onion rice

Cauliflower + cashew pesto pasta

Soup: Tuscan tomato

Sandwich: Milano salami, Provola cheese, Spicy peach relish + tomato

Day 1243 Ode to my Champion side pouch

We’ve been together practically everyday for the last 7 years. You’ve carried so many things for me, been on so many adventures around the world with me, you were by my side through thick and thin. But yesterday I had to accept that we couldn’t carry on, we’ve run our course and what a time it was. I posses many skills but not one that can fix you. Hopefully one day I will find a side pouch that will carry as many items as you could, that goes with any outfit the way that you did. But you can’t zip up anymore and I can’t lose my personal belonging because I’m fearful of change. Here’s to the best side pouch, I will miss you.

Salads:

Borlotti bean salad with caesar dressing

Courgette, tomato + rosemary pasta

Egg noodle salad with BBQ jackfruit

Soup: Chilled gazpacho

Sandwich: Chorizo, Manchego, Chilli relish + tomato

Day 1242 Never too much

It’s day 4/5 of my 5 day social bonanza. Tonight, tapas in the English countryside…Chiswick. It’s been a great week with a host of different conversations. I feel my mind juices flowing because i’ve been subjecting my brain to a social overload but how am I doing this? How can I maintain this constant communication from morning to midnight? How can one be so obsessed with anthropological affairs? I scare myself. Also, 3 doubles cost me £40, if you want to save money I suggest drinking on a park bench, tis the season.

Salads:

Chickpea + sweet potato with mango lime pickle dressing

Lightly spiced cracked wheat salad

Leek, black olive + tomato pasta

Soup: Chilled Gazpacho

Day 1241 It's just one of those days

I have a multitude of things i’d like to complain about on this day but what good would that serve? While it might make for an entertaining read, I feel it would only amplify my negative feelings. In an effort to try and redeem this mid week mess I will just advise you. Make sure you flush twice when using a public toilet, make a greater attempt to remain composed when someone’s lack of public decency effects the going of your day and frequent a female run establishment if you synergise with Andrew Tate.

Salads:

Braised beans and roast peppers

Rainbow rice

Pasta salad

Soup: Chilled Gazpacho

Day 1240 What do I yell when I win?

I think I found a new hobby. Gambling, in the form of bingo. My 9-5 tends to be quite loud and chaotic so when I entered into this surprisingly beautiful Art Deco hall filled with pensioners I immediately fell in love. Did I win? No and yet I still had a great time. You wouldn’t like it though, you’re too cool. I’m sure there’s a hip and trendy bar down the road for you to feel at home in. I’ll sit here with my coffee and wait for a full house.

Salads:
Moroccan spiced lentils

Sumac rice

Broccoli, chilli + garlic pasta

Soup: Spiced lentil + tomato

Sandwich: Spicy salami, Gorgonzola, onion relish + tomato

Day 1239 Why is there a bright orange old man there?

Honey, child I was BUSY this weekend. I want to nap but somehow I’ve socially booked myself for everyday this week. As a wise Dragon once told me ‘it’s either 0 or 100 with you’. But who wants to be mid? Not me, it’s either a full show or i’m closed for business. Why did Donald Trump try and invade the lifting of the trophy? A true waste of space, go back to where you came from.

Salads:

Cannellini beans, beetroot + dill

Fattoush style salad

Sausage + ham pasta

Soup: Chilled gazpacho

Day 1238

It’s all just feeling a little chaotic right now.

Salads:

Many bean with herb dressing

Mushroom ragu pasta

Panzanella

Soup: Chilled gazpacho

Sandwich: Garlic salami, Provola, Chilli relish + tomato